Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Yesterday = Motherhood Failure

Yesterday I failed miserably at motherhood. I'm still feeling horrible about it.. Now I'm sure you are wondering "WHAT DID SHE DO?!?!" lol  
Here's what I did. I let myself get angry with my children.. And I made Z cry because I yelled at her.. Wait, I take that back, I didn't yell at her, I screamed at her. 3 different times. I was so maxed to the limit of my patience! We sat and did a single days worth of 1st grade yesterday for 6 HOURS! School usually only takes us about 2 hrs. And she can breeze thru easily.. But that wasn't the case yesterday.. Math alone took 2 hrs !! She is great at math and doesn't need me to SIT on her to complete it. It normally takes her about 20 mins finish it! But that isn't the point. She is 6 years old, and she acts like a 6 year old.. I on the other hand, was NOT acting like a sane 28 yr old mother who enjoys raising her children. Infact, I DID NOT enjoy my children yesterday. I wanted to be selfish and I wanted everyone to leave me alone. I wanted my headache to stop, I wanted the noise that caused my ears to ring, to stop. I was craving a moment of silence. And when I finally got it at 10pm. I felt like a total jerk because I had acted like a bull in a china shop with my precious babies.  These little people who think I'm the greatest person in the whole world. And I couldn't wait for them to go to bed, and leave me alone! How awful is that?! I took my frustration and tiredness out on the people I love more than anything else in this world.  I was wrong to act like that and I asked for forgivness. So thankful I was granted a new day with new mercies..  Today X, Y& Z acted like they were 2,4 &6. And I acted like a 28 yr old mother who enjoys her children. (not saying there wasn't moments I wanted to go on the rampage)  Thank you Lord for your Grace.♥

3 comments:

  1. Oh Lord, I'm so glad I'm not the only one who has days like that! =) And I'm glad today was better for you.

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  2. I don't have children...but I have Hubs. And sometimes I have days like that with him. (Like yesterday....and then I feel like the worst wife in the world.) Yes, God's grace is so wonderful!

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