1 of my top favorite moments

Just wanted to jot this down so I can remember it forever! If I had 10 top favorite moments in my life this one would come in around the top!
 It isn't anything world shattering, just simply contentment at it's best..
Last week me and my little darlings where all sitting around the dinning room table.. Z was doing her math, Y was sitting in my lap coloring a picture with me and X was doing his puzzle.. And I donno what came over me, maybe the fact that they were all so STILL and quietly chatting about their favorite color and if Elmo was indeed supposed to be red.. (sesame street coloring book)  And I just looked around at them and felt so much love and contentment.. X the cute little 2 yr old who thinks he's 6. Y just needed a little different type of teaching, and she is blossoming before my eyes.. And Z..... That little girl with her 4 front teeth missing is growing up so fast! This is my little family.. If we were lions they'd be my pride. Wolfs, my pack. Sheep, my flock. Whales, my pod. Country, m' boys. Gangsta, my posse.. I donno why I just compared them to those! hahah.. But they are one of my greatest delights!

December 17 2010

Soooo I just got a christmas card from a dear friend, and she told me that i need to blog again!! hahah.. So here's to you my faithful friend!
 I haven't felt like blogging.. Just been extremely busy and crazy and I'm not very good at putting my feelings into words, which is why I started blogging in the first place.. (to exercise my expression) If that makes any sense.. Anway, since my last blog, my sister-in-law Sha-sha ( My brothers wife, and I feel that she is more my sister than just a sister in law.) was diagnosed with cancer.. She is the ripe young age of 28 and is the mommy of 2 little ones..  I had felt that the Lord was wanting to use me to organize a Benefit Dinner and Silent Auction in honour of my brothers family. They have health insurance but a large deductable and it was only last year that their baby boy was born 12 weeks premature and was in the NICU for close to 3 months.. And they were still paying on his hospital bills. For a few days I just prayed (and worried) about it, then I decided that if God wanted me to do it, then He would prepare a way for me.. And guess what, He did.. ♥  I started by calling my best friend who just so happens to be Sha-sha's sis-in-law from her other side.. =) And from there God started blessing.. For starters we were prepared to fork out money to buy the food.. But there was no need to, local resturants and grocery store donated food to feed 500 people. Then came the "where are we going to have this event?!" When we realized a certain church dinning hall was NOT going to be big enough. But the Lord came thru with an Amish restruant donating their facilities to our cause! So now we had enough room, tables, dishes, glasses, tableware, tea, coffee and the use of their kitchen. AND their cooks and dish crew!!! How amazing is that!?!?! They went above and beyond!! They are always closed on Sundays, and as far as I know, have never opend up on a sunday.. But they did for us.. The owner even made meat balls for our spaghetti.. We did not have to spend ONE cent on anything.. EVERYTHING was donated all the way down to the flyers. A local paper did an article on Sha sha and this event and commented that she'd never seen a Benefit that 100% of the proceeds went to the honoured family. Also the Amish resturant is usually packed with local businesses christmas parties on Saturdays, but guess what? We needed into those banquet rooms on saturday to set up 60 round tables and chairs annd get the silent auction ready, and for once in the month of December that saturday was completely empty. That is God. Period.  It was still a tremendous amount of work and preparring but we got it done with God's help!  And to tell the truth, the only other time I have ever felt so calm and confindent going into something so huge was at my wedding. I just knew the Lord was in control and why should I worry?.. (which is, by the way NOT me. I worry about everything! I even worry that I'm worrying too much!)  People gave with their hearts and I don't even know how much it raised.. I just  know that it was a huge success. Anyway, that is one reason why I haven't been on here yaking.. It's not for lacking of anything to say. I keep thinking during differnt encounters I have, ohhh, this would make a good blog!!!! =) hahah.. Especially the ones where I have encountered pure hateful people.. I just don't understand that people actually live with those feelings! Part of it is my fault tho.. I have been praying that the Lord would help me to grow in Grace and patience.. And buddy, I'm telling you.. Don't ever pray that unless you realllllly mean it!! hahahah!! Trust me! It's beyond me that certain people cannot be happy unless they are stirring up strife! And I hate the fact that when I'm confronted with hateful people I am always nice!! And later when I am brewing about it, think a million things up that I could have said.. But now that I reread that, I guess I'm glad I don't explode back at them because if I did, I wouldn't be any better than they are... But really.. I feel i have grown in grace and patience toward ignorant people, so now hopefully they can lay off! hahahhahah =) Well my kiddos are upstairs singing Praise Ye The Lord Halelujah! Time for nap and I gotta get this house whipped into shape!! Thanks for taking time to listen to my ramblings.. More later!

Sunday Afternoon Quiet Time

*sigh* it's not silent, but X is taking his nap, or at least baricaded into his room for the next hour, if  he naps or not the big question. Z is water painting, and Y is walking around looking for something to do.. Oh and The Hubs is out hanging tree stands... Which by the way, he shot his buck (11 point for those who are counting) Friday night..Which to me is FABULOUS! Although he will still be hunting, it's not that "gotta get a buck" panic!
 Last night we went to my sweet little nephews 1st birthday part! He is precious! Very smiley and happy guy! I loved holding him!!! Bless his heart, he has come so far in the past year! He was 12weeks premature, and had a bit of a rough begining.. ♥ He is perfectly perfect!

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Annnnnnnd it is now 10 42 pm.. The door bell rang and i had to stop "blogging" to visit with my friend.. =) What a nice day! Church was great... This morning we went to what the kids call "the far, far away church" which is an hour and twenty mins from here.. They asked The Hubs to preach/speak while their pastor was in a special meeting.. I enjoyed The Hubs message very much! I am so not a public speaker, so I really admire The Hubs for being so at ease with it! ♥
Tonight at our home church, we had a praise and worship service..Whenever there is 5 sundays in a month, our church has a pot luck dinner and an early evening service that is devoted to praise and songs.. BUT even tho today was a 5th Sunday, we didn't have a dinner and early servic today  because the next two week we are having dinners at church. Next Sunday is a farewell service and dinner for our Pastor. And the week after is a "welcome" service and dinner for our new Pastor!  Anyway, I'm not even sure why I just had to explain that.. It was rather irrelavent... heehee..
And WOW is it cold! Our van's temp said it was 34 degrees!! Time to put away my beloved flip flops I guess =(  Oh well.. Christmas is only around 7 weeks away.. And that is my favorite time of year!! =) Well my feet are freezing, and it's 5 till 11 and X, Y and Z are still not in bed.. Take care till next time!

Dear Z 5-13-04

Dear Z.. Here is your birthstory.. I still remember it like yesterday..
    May 12, 2004. I had been having contractions all night and all day long 10 mins apart.. I felt kinda stressed and antsy . But I  Didn't think much of it . Daddy came home from work around 5:30 pm excited that I had been having contractions.. I was kinda embarrassed to call my Doctor w/ them being so far apart and not that intense.. But my husband talked me into calling, and she told me to go over to the hospital.. That is when everything started sliding down hill.. When we got to the maternity triage, the nurse took my bp. 160/88.. She asked if I was nervous.. "Of course I am! I may be having our first  baby tonight! " By 8:00 pm my blood pressure was 198/110.. That was the last time they told me what it was.. I was put on Magnesium sulfate to keep me from having a seizure, Pitocen was added because the mag sulfate slowed my contractions.( I had an epidural by now.) I was feeling very nauseated from the high blood pressure and with every contraction I had, I would throw up.. I was very miserable.. But thing just kept getting worse.. The nurses gave me Phenergan which was supposed to keep me from vomiting..(it also makes you very sleepy and if your pg, your baby gets tired too) It ended up that I was allergic to it. (which I have never been allergic to anything that I know of) I was shaking all over.. The nurses thought that I was having a seizure.. But they discovered the hives covering my body and gave me a dose of benedrel to remedy to reaction.. (The Benadrel also made me makes very tired/ and you too because you were still inside me!) Before I had the epidural I was given Demerol (which too, causes low Apgar scores in babies) to ease the contractions. By the time I started to push my body was so heavily medicated I could hardly make it to the count of 7.. That's when they discovered our you were "sunny side up" which means you were facing up toward the ceiling, the largest part of her head was trying to come through.. I thought I would never make it.. And our doctor probably should have done a C-section then.. But she didn't and I pushed for over 2 hours.. You, our first baby girl was finally delivered at 2:06 pm on May 13th 2004.. With the help of the vacuum. As soon as you came out I was desperate to see you . You were a blueish gray color, and very "floppy". I reached out to touch your leg as Doc passed you to the nurses who worked fast and furious to resecitate you..  It seemed like forever before I heard your first sound..It sounded like a new born kitten.. Very weak and tiny. Then they rushed you away to the nursery..And then to the Childrens Hospital (45 mins away..) I was sooooo exhausted after 20 hours of labor, But I couldn't sleep until the transport team from the NICU brought you to my room.. The first good look I had of you was breif, but I will never forget how tiny you looked in that big isolet on that gurny w/ all those machines and wires and whatever else they could think to bring!  I could only reach through a little porthole from the side of the isolet..  I could hardly see you through the blurred vison from the blood pressure and my tears . I will never forget how soft your skin was. I rubbed your check. And I thought that your face was so perfectly round and smooth, quite easily the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.. And yes, I did peak into your diaper just to make sure you were still a girl!! The fact that I was your mommy and this little tiny being was my baby was still sinking in when they had to take you away..
 But thank goodness for prayers.. God touched you my little daughter and you  recovered quickly.. . The next evening the nicu sent you back to my hospital to be with me..  Doctor brought you into my room and finally place you in my arms where you belonged. The way it should have happend 24 hours before.. = ) But I was sooo happy to see you I didn't care about anything else..   Daddy came in 5 mins later and we enjoyed our first moments as a little family.. You started nursing right away, and was very good at it!  A few days later we got to go home and start our lives with you!!

..Today you are perfect in every way.. Your doctor told us you are very advanced  intellectually.. It makes me feel so proud of you, knowing how close we came to losing you or you  little brain being damaged from the lack of oxegen right before and after birth. We will always thank our Lord for ur lil miracle..
All my love,
  Mommy

Dear Y 10-02-06

Dearest Y.. I've been wanting to write down your birth story for some time now.. I always want to be able to rememeber every detail of our special miracle..

You actually came earlier than we expected! 3 weeks to be exact!  We moved into our new house.Daddy and I spent the weekend before we moved in painting and cleaning.. It was tough trying to do everything at 35 weeks pg!! Daddy wouldn't let me do hardly anything, because he didn't want anything to happen to you or me.. = ) Well, we finally got moved in, and started trying to unpack boxes, and repacking suitcases for our vacation to V.A. Beach for your aunt yayas wedding..!! We spent 5 nights in our new house before we had to leave for vacation. I did get to wash up all your baby clothes 2 days before we left..  I got them folded but not put away..  We had a wonderful time on vacation.. I didn't have hardly any contractions.. Your aunt Shasha (who is pg with your cousin Ash) and I dug belly holes in the sand on the beach so we could lay out on our tummys with out hurting you girls or ourselves! Aunt Yaya and Uncle Harry Potter were married on the beach, it was a beautiful wedding.. Aunt Jamie and I did all the decorating.. It was exhusting but well worth the work.. I was very tired on the 11 hour trip home..My head was hurting and I kept having vision disturbances.. ( looks like fireworks) and my feet were swelling and when I would press on them they made dents.. (uh oh)... So we desided to spend the night in a hotel.. Daddy wanted to watch the Ohio State game anyway. (they won of course) So we all welcomed the break..

 We finally made it home on Sunday afternoon.. Daddy went to church  that night, but I didn't feel like it...So I stayed home to unpack suitcases and get your clothes hung up and put away.. I also set up your layette and bassinette in the dinning room so I wouldn't have to run upstairs everytime I had to change you.. I set up your other bassinette in our room also.. I guess that somehow I knew you would be coming soon.. My nesting instinct was kicking in really strong!  Well, the next day.. Monday, October 2nd 2006 started out ordanary.. Me and Z woke up and got dressed and went to work at Mommaw's and Pappaws house..  (the office is at their house) Actually, we had to take a shower at their house because our well water at our house was terrible! And I didn't want to bathe myself or Z  in it till we got our water softner put in.. 

 I still hadn't had a minute to pack a hospital suitcase.. I did leave a small one in our closet when I unpacked from vacation with the intent of repacking it for the hospital.. I should have done it Sunday night, but I was too tired.. and thought I'd do it after work on Monday.. But....... Of course, I didn't get to go home after work.. = )  I had to go to my 37 week OB appointment at 1:30.. So we left Mommaw and Pappaw's house and went to the Doctors.. We met Mommaw at the office so she could watch your sister while I went in..

 I had to wait a little while for the Doc Orafu to come in.. So they had a student nurse come in and she had to ask me a few questions for her evaluation at school.. It was kinda funny the questions she asked.. She needed to know what I had to eat in the last 24 hours.. = ) haha.. I told her that she picked the worst day to ask that question.. (I actually try to watch what I eat..) Remember, we were driving home in the last 24 hours.. = ) So I had to tell her that I ate a bacon egg and cheese biscit from Hardees for breakfast.. A Jr Bacon cheese burger from Wendys for lunch.. And we ordered Pizza for supper after we got home.( we really needed to do some serious grocery shopping) Totally a unhealthy and all junkfood diet!! I did explain that I never eat that, but under the circumstances! She and the other nurses thought it was pretty funny..

 Well, after the student nurse and the ob nurse had their laugh, they took my blood pressure.. It was pretty high.. 145/85.. (mine usually runs 115/60)  My OB finally came in looking very conserned and took my bp agian.. It was even higher that time..  She looked at my feet and saw that they were swollen, and I told her that I had a head ache (since the Thursday before) and I was seeing spots. I also gained about 8 pounds in one week. She tested my reflexes, and they just confirmed what we both feared.. Preeclampsia again..  She checked my cervix and I was dialated to 2 cm..  She proceeded to "strip my membranes" Which is where she seperates the cervix from your bag of water..(membranes) It releases hormones that causes contractions..  She told me to go straight to the hospital.. Not to make any stops on the way there and to make all my phone calls after I got there.. And that she would call the hospital and let them know I was on my way there.. Her consern was really worring me!!! I walked out to the car where your mommaw and sissy were waiting.. I told your mommaw that "we are going to have a baby today!"  I could tell she was kinda panicking a little..  I called your daddy and told him the same thing.. He was at work, and didn't have a way to get to the hospital. So he and mommaw figured out a way for her to go pick him up.. Since he rode with his brother and didn't have his car with him) I disobeyed my OB's orders and called a few people before I left the parking lot. I called my Mom-in-law and sis-in-law.. I just need to let a few people know so they could start praying!!!

 Luckily, I had brought along my bathroom bag to work that day, (remember, I had to shower there because our wellwater was soo terrible). Atleast I did have that!

Daddy was about 20 mins away when I got to the hospital, so I thought I should probably go ahead and go in.. It wouldn't be good if I had a sezuire, stroke or heart attack in the hospital parking lot by myself.. So there we went, me and you up to the materity foor.. I told the lady in the elevator that I was going to have a baby today.. haha, I was still getting used to the fact myself!! = ) She just smiled and said good luck..

   2:30 pm ..Well, the nurses where ready and waiting for us when we walked up to the desk.. They made me pee in a cup and put on a gown, get into bed hooked up an IV and hooked up a bunch of monitors to my belly to make sure you were still doing okay.. (I could hear your heartbeat on the monitor, it made me feel better just to hear you!) My nurse, Mary Beth was the best! She was calm and explained everything to me..

2:45 pmBy this time I had dialated to 3cm in just about 30 mins from the doc office.. She went ahead and hooked up the Pitocen to the IV.. They drew some blood from me to test and see if I needed a special medicine called Magnisum Sulfate.. It is a life saving drug, but the side affects are horrible. It doesn't decrease BP, but it does keep me from having seizures or a stroke/heart attack.. (from the high blood pressure) . I had to have it when I was in labor with your sister.. I was terrified of having it again.. I really didn't want it!! I asked my mom-in-law to call our church prayer chain to pray.. She did and it ended up that I didn't have to have it..(Thank God!)

 3:00pm Daddy is finally got there! I felt soooo much better when he got there.. I made a list of a few things I needed and Mommaw went home and got them.. She also called Uncle Rance and Aunt Jamie and they came up from Newark to cheer us on!!

 3:30 pm contractions are coming every 4-5 mins..I'm 4 cm dialated.. They are starting to get stronger.. Nothing I can't handle, but they are annoying me! You are doing very well.. Heart beating stongly.. Daddy and I pray that all will go well.. My blood pressure is coming down some.. It went as high as 155/92.. (not as high as it was with your sister though..Over  200/110) But still high.. I believe God was answering our prayers.. Because it didn't keep going up like it did with Mackenzie.. It was actually comeing down somtimes to 120/80.. ... I try to get some sleep..

6:00pm 5cm dialated.. Dr, Orafu comes in and breaks my water.. That is an odd feeling.. Yuck!! = ) This is the turning point!! My nurse comes in and asks if I want an epidural.. I tell her yes, but to take her time getting the anistegiologist- sp.. the pain wasn't that bad...  As soon as she left the room though my contractions started reallllllllly hurting!  And I wished that I had told her to HURRY!!

6:15 pm.. He is here, bless his heart!!! The anistegiologist has me sit up and slouch my shoulders in between contractions.. I feel a pinch and my epidural is in.. Ahhh relief is coming!

7:00pm Can't feel contraction right now.. I know I should some sleep but I cant!! I'm tooo excited to see you! Daddy leaves to get some food for himself and me some popsicles.. While he is away, my epidural wears off on the right side of my body.. I can feel everything on the right side and I can't move my left leg.. I call the nurse and she has me turn from side to side but nothing is helping... Mommaw is there trying to comfort me.. Finally Daddy gets back.. And he tries to help me consintrate through contractions..

8:00pm When we get phone calls we tell them that you will probably be here around 2-3am..

8:45: I feel pressure to push! I call the nurse in and she checks my cervix.. I'm 7 cm.. She waits..

8:50pm Contraction, and the nurse checks my cervix. 8 cm.

8:55pm Same thing. Contraction, the nurse checks.. 9 cm

9:00pm Contraction, nurse checks again... 10 CM!! COMPLETE!! YEAH!! She has me give a small push.. And then tells me not to push anymore, that she is calling my doctor in!!

Lots of stuff going on now in our room..  They are breaking the bed down, and bringing in a mirror.. Getting a warmer ready for you, and Dr is getting dressed in her birthday garb!

9:25 pm Starting to push! I have to really consintrate where to push.. I can feel you moving down the birth canal.. I know that I will be able to see you soon!!!  I feel another contraction and push.. Daddy says he can see your head.. You have black hair he says.. I look down into the mirror and can see it for myself.. It gives me more energy to know you are just about here.. I push again and this time your head comes out!! I can see you in the mirror, your face is all scrunched up and beautiful.. Dr suctions your nose and mouth.. I push one more time and your little body slips out into dr's arms.. It's a girl! the nurse says.. I am sitting up now, trying to see you... I desperatly want you to cry.. And you do.. It is a huge relief to me!! I feel all choked up with emotions.. Daddy is kissing my forehead and telling me how happy he is.. I hold my hands out and Dr. puts you on my belly where daddy is able to cut your umblical cord.. It's a magical, sereal moment.. I am looking at you for the first time.. Trying to find something familiar in your face... you look alot like your big sister.. You are crying loudly.. I love the sound and I tell you so! I kiss your little wet head.. Daddy is touching your leg.. Mommaw is taking a bunch of pictures.. and talking to aunt yaya on the phone.. Mommaw called her right before you were born so she could hear you be born.. She can hear you crying and she is getting all emotional herself!! = ) The nurse takes you to the warmer where she can finish drying you off. You are yelling out your protest!! Your apgar scores are great! 9 and 9! 10 is the perfect score.. But compared to your sisters 2 & 4.  Nine is awsome! I will take that! The nurse wraps you  up and puts a hat on your head.. She hands you to daddy and he hands you to me.. I hold you close and send thank you prayers to God.. I try to get you to nurse, and you latch on right away.. I notice that you are breathing kind of fast.. So I tell your nurse.. She takes you to the nursery.. I am worried about you.. and so is everyone else.. Your pediatrition sends you to Akron Childrens Hospital Neonatal Intisive Care Unit..(NICU) 50 mins away for our house.. You have respitory distress syndrom.. Your lungs aren't all the way developed.. and you are having a hard time breathing.. But it only takes a few days for them to finish developing and finally you can breath normal.  But unfortunitly you developed jaudice.. Your levels are 20.. (that is seriously high) so you have to have phototheropy for 3 days.. You finally get that out of your system.. And after several days in the NICU we finally got to bring you home!!

 I love you my sweet little Y...  I am blessed to call you my daughter.

 - Mommy